Weekly World List Headlines!

[PELLUCIDAR@xxxxxxx]

Dateline: The Edge of The Millenium

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NEW ZEPPELIN LIST ASTONISHES NATION...LET FREEDOM RAIN (song)!
New survey shows 2 out of 3 new Zeppelin subscribers prefer newness!
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PRESENCE: TRUE IDENTITY(S) REVEALED!
Startling new findings unearth the many faces of notorious mass bootleg
butcher Jason of Dwight...lock your doors and hide the DAT...Jason lives!
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NEBRASKA MENTIONED THRICE!
Lonely state reveals it's true nature as Zeppelin hotbed...Plant and Page
buy
estates in desolate farmland seeking refuge from persistent cyber-women!
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BILL O'NEIL:  RISEN GUITAR GOD RECLAIMS HIS PAGIAN KINGDOM!
"We should have known all along" cries devotee Anthrax Harsch.  "How else
could he have known Jimmy Page's string gauges...and I saw his image in a
poppyseed bagel earlier this week...Praise Be!"
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TOKYO WEATHER: HOT & HUMID IN THE SUMMER!
No duhhhh...
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ZERXES MINION INFILTRATES NEW ZEP HOMELAND!
Flash (stop) bandit steals into town (stop) plans on robbing Page of his
life's work in daring raid (stop) seeks Keymaster of Gozer as ally (stop)
exorcism didn't take (stop) (stop) (stop)
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DAVID'S WIFE TELLS ALL: "I'VE LOVED ZEPPELIN FOR YEARS!"
David's wife (name concealed to protect her) discloses decades of closet Zep
addiction..."You don't know how I've suffered..living the lie all these
years, when it was really ME writing those show reviews" she sobs. "I'm so
glad she's come out at last" David exclaims..."It's made us even closer" :-)
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"Dancin days are here again..."

MITCH ~/^()