Vol 10, No. 34, July 1999

Dread Zeppelin may be the only reggae-style Zep cover band with an Elvis impersonator for a front man in the known universe, but theirs is by no means the first-or even the weirdest-approach to interpreting the mighty Zeppelin's hallowed song catalog. Here then are a handful of the most unusual, ridiculous and in some cases, revolting examples of the genre.

Little Roger & The Goosebumps "Gilligans Island (Stairway)" (7-inch
vinyl single, Splash Records SPL 901, 1978): Probably the first Zeppelin
parody to gain any kind of widespread attention, "Stairway To Gilligan"
(as it's also known) is a fairly straightforward rendition of "Stairway To
Heaven" with the lyrics to the theme from "Gilligan's Island" sung to the
melody. The execution is amateurish but it's still hysterical! In 1979 the San
Francisco band that created it was threatened with a lawsuit from the
Zeppelin organization, causing it to go out of print. It's become something
of a cult classic even outside of Zeppelin collecting circles, and today is
impossible to find.

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Temple City Kazoo Orchestra Some Kazoos (12-inch vinyl EP,
Rhino Records RNEP 501): Temple City, California must be
some kind of breeding ground for Zep parodies-not only is it now
Dread Zeppelin's home base, it was the headquarters of this ad hoc
11-man kazoo orchestra in 1978 (purely coincidence-Tortelvis
and his cohorts were still in high school when this was recorded).
The TCKO blasts through "Whole Lotta Love" on this beautifully
multi-colored vinyl biscuit, now also impossible to find. The sonic
capabilities of the kazoo are severely put to the test on this
rendition, in which the 'lead singer' recreates as many of Robert's
screeches, screams and gasps as possible-making this an amusing
listen the first time and absolutely intolerable thereafter.

The Wonder Band Stairway To Love (Vinyl LP, Atco SD 38-111, 1979):
It had to happen sooner or later-disco Zeppelin, and if you think the idea
sounds bad, you should hear the record! This is the real thing, baby-
vintage late '70s formula disco, starting with an easy-listening take on the
first verse with guitar and keyboard, followed by a descending cascade
of strings leading into that sharp-sounding, relentless kick drum so
beloved by the patrons of Studio 54. God help us! And it's even on
Atlantic Records affiliate Atco. Let's just hope it never comes out on CD. . .

Blonde On Blonde "Whole Lotta Love" (12-inch vinyl single, Pye
Records [Canada] 7NL 46189, 1979): Perhaps inspired by the artistic
triumph of the Wonder Band, this French girl disco duo tackle Zep's classic
with gusto, showcasing crunchy "rock" guitars over the usual pounding kick
drum (this one even indicates the old '126 BPM'-that's beats per minute,
kids-so integral to classic disco mixes). The girls sing in harmony and even
attempt a brief bout of orgasmic gasping in the middle section, but it's
obvious that the complete spectrum of their talents is displayed in the
picture on the sleeve!

Pat Boone In A Metal Mood (CD, Hip-O/MCA Records 40025, 1997):
Whether this is Pat Boone's attempt to show us that he has a sense of humor
(fat chance, Sunny Jim) or some industry marketing genius' brainstorm
(hopefully he got canned when it flopped) is open to speculation. What
there is absolutely doubt about, however, is that this album sucks from
start to finish, and ol' Pat's loungy take on "Stairway To Heaven" is enough
to make you physically ill. Let's not forget Boone's right wing fundamentalist
background, either-he's long been an enemy of everything rock & roll stands
for, which is bad enough-but for creating this particular steaming turd he
should really burn in Hell!

Tiny Tim with Brave Combo Girl (CD, Rounder Records CD 9050, 1996):
The delicate Mr. Tim (may he rest in peace) certainly had purer intentions than
Pat Boone in creating this album, but unfortunately that doesn't make his
version of "Stairway To Heaven" much more palatable. Brave Combo is a fine
and versatile band with some great CDs of their own, but their attempt to
make this more than a 'novelty' album (as described in the liner notes) is
only partially successful-Tiny Tim's vocal stylings, while not unpleasant,
are just too bizarre to take seriously. "Stairway" is kinda cool, rendered
as a hoppin' little jazz number with a walking bassline. Tim sings it
mostly in his baritone voice and it's undeniably entertaining-but novelty
it is and novelty it will remain.

Various Artists Stairways To Heaven (CD, Atlantic 826432, 1992):
No discussion of Zep parodies would be complete without mentioning this
little gem. The brainchild of brilliantly twisted Australian TV host Andrew
Denton, here we have twelve different versions of "Stairway" interpreted in
styles ranging from swingin' vocal jazz to spot-on British invasion
Merseybeat. The high point for me is The Australian Doors Show-that
Morrison-esque scream is worth the price of admission alone!

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