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REPOST - BY REQUEST - The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a bootleg was spinning, nor click of a mouse;

The torrents were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Bonham soon would be there;

The Badgies were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Reunion DVDs danced in their heads;

And mamma in her tour-shirt, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a white-haired guitarist, and three others I fear,

With a little old plectrum, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Ol' Jim.

More rapid than eagles his solos they came,

And he whistled, and theramined, and bowed them by name;

"Now, Kashmir! now, Stairway! now, Dazed and Confused!

On, Bron-Yr_Aur! on Thank You! Since I've Been Lovin' You!

To the top of the sales charts! to a spot in the Hall!

Achilles' Last Stand! Now, we've played them all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the musicians they flew,

With an album of goodies, and rumors of a tour.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard just outside

The prancing and dancing of Black Mountain Side.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney John Paul Jones came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A custom bass guitar he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a rockstar, oh yes they were back.

The singer -- how he twinkled! His dimples how merry!

As Ol' Jim drew his bow, and young Jason gave flurry!

His screaming wide mouth sang all he did know,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of two sticks Jason swung like a beast,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he thrashed, just like his old daddy.

Not so chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I blinked when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

Dropping dozens of fills; then exploding in rolls,

Bowing before them, they bid he arise,

Joining his birthright, as one of the guys;

They sprang to the limo, to make an escape,

But before they could leave, they left no mistake:

I'm sure I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight -

"Led Zeppelin Lives! Happy Christmas tonight."