An Amusing Article

[Grant Burgess <grantburgess2001@xxxxxxxx>]

Here's an article I came across about Howard Dean in
the aftermath of his scream as it compares him to
Jimmy Page's job of taking over the Yardbirds. Kind of
amusing.
http://students.law.drake.edu/hiatus/commentary/ScreamHeardRoundtheWorld.html
 

The Scream Heard Around the World

by Cameron Whitworth


The Scream Heard Around the World

A scream was heard prior to the event. The people
could only watch as Howard Dean?s bid for president
burst into flames. It was not a ?blaze of glory.? The
legions of soldiers in Dean?s army were left to make
the long walk home, as their march on Washington could
not survive the trip through the Iowa cornfields.
Their hopes crushed; they were left to wonder what
would happen to their revolution ? their dream for a
new America.

Meanwhile?

WAR HERO Returns to Duty

Vietnam Vet John Kerry emerged as the new general to
lead the attack on the Grand Ol? Party (GOP). The
loyal democrats and John Kerry were left to stammer
and guffaw, ?How the Hell?? Neither was quite sure
what to think of this turn of events. Even some of the
more skeptical republicans suspected a trap. Karl Rove
smiled as his secret plan came to fruition. And,
shares of BOTOX skyrocketed.

Swift Promotion Leads to Campaign Implosion

Kerry?s campaign came to a crossroads . No one could
decide which way to go. The GOP passed by with nary a
wave as Kerry debated with Kerry. He could not decide
between the GPS or the traditional compass. Advisors
were quick to press Kerry for a decision. He finally
deferred to Commander Heinz. Unfortunately, she chose
the always-reliable astrolabe. Kerry was forced to
bring in more advisors ? one specifically trained on
the aforementioned device. To this day, Kerry is still
trying to figure out a way to get to the White House.

DEAN Sightings Reported

Dean was last seen bursting in flames like the
Hindenberg. The campaign was finished. Considered too
volatile for the trail, Dean went the way of the
zeppelin. The hot air balloon was relegated to special
events and fundraisers. He became more of a tool or
gimmick for the Democratic Party than a prime-time
player.

TAPS HEARD AT DNC HQ

Howard Dean rose from the ashes and took over the
chair of the Democratic National Committee (DNC).
Democrats and republicans watched in ?shock and awe.?
It seems the Democrats are committing Hara-kiri
(Sepiku). The DNC should remember that ritual suicide
is traditionally used as a way to preserve honor.
Pundits wonder if electing Dean to chair the DNC will
get the desired effect.

Democrats are left to wonder, ?Has the Democratic Wing
co-opted the Democratic Party?? Republicans are not
sure what to think. The Democratic Party heads
scrambled to cover the Party ass, due to national
embarrassment and fear of FCC sanctions. Meanwhile,
overwhelming support from bloggers has given new life
to the Republican Party. 

EXIT POLLS
Or Don?t Rush to Judge!

Early returns are inconclusive. Some experts see
electing Dean as a desperate act ? a last ditch effort
to save the party. Others see a new party emerging.
Others have totally given up hope of ever seeing
another democrat in the White House.
Not so fast! For the first time in years, the DNC has
a face. It has personality. Did America even know
Terence R. McAuliffe was DNC Chairman? Does America
know the GOP Chairman? More Americans likely know who
Howard Dean is than the other two combined. 

Perhaps, the Democratic Party now has an identity
beyond Clinton. The former president from Arkansas
gave new life to the party. He was a bright beacon for
the moderate majority of democrats. Then, he single
handily brought the party to its knees. The Prez and
the Starr Report left a bad taste in the mouth of
America. The republicans launched a barrage of
morality rockets and rode them straight to the White
House. All seemed lost for the Democratic Party. 

?They will take off like a lead balloon.?

It was not meant as a compliment. The New Yardbirds
shook off the criticism as they prepared to take over
the title of the hardest rocking band in the world.
>From the ashes of wild, live performances, Led
Zeppelin brought the music world and legions of
groupies to its knees. Will Howard Dean?s re-emergence
cause the DNC to crash like a lead balloon, or will he
take the party to new heights? 

Dean gets the LED Out.

The New Yardbirds with Page could not shake the
specter of the old Yardbirds with Clapton. An identity
change brought Led Zeppelin more money, fans and
power. They were a marketing machine. They
revolutionized the concert business. They re-wrote the
rules of the business of rock and roll. Sound
familiar? 

Howard Dean took the nation by storm. He is irreverent
and volatile. He will not switch from hydrogen to
helium. Yet, he is a walking ATM. He brings in money
and more money. His critics are both loud and
numerous. Zeppelin?s were as well. Rolling Stone
trashed their records on numerous occasions. Did that
stop them from taking over the world?

BUSH v. DEAN

Bush preached conservative, but his record is more
moderate than most may want to admit. Dean may rant
like a radical nut, but some have called his record as
governor moderate. Bush and Dean both inspire a
love-hate appeal in many Americans. Bush remained in
office, however, because the Democrats nominated a man
who neither inspired or perspired. Some even
questioned whether he pulsated. 

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!

Republicans should not scoff at recent developments.
It might be nothing, but then again . . . The
Democrats are not asking Dean to run for president.
They need him to raise money, rally the forces, and
bring in new recruits. He has done it once. He may do
it again. 

Dean has captured America?s attention and imagination,
something neither Gore nor Kerry could do. He brings a
competitive spirit to the party. He is a fighter. Can
anyone remember Gore fighting? He surrendered the keys
to the Oval Office without a fight. Kerry was Karl
Rove?s punching bag. Dean, however, will hit back. 

The republicans have enjoyed a resurgence reminiscent
of President Reagan?s glory days. They continue to
capitalize on the democrats lack of unity and
identity. They control the House, Senate, and the Oval
Office. Republicans should not, however, underestimate
the recent developments across the aisle. The GOP and
America continue to watch with wonder and amusement
while the democrats continue to seek direction. Howard
Dean may be just the kick in the ass the Democratic
Party needs.



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