JPJ Concert Review: Kansas City 11/27/01

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GUILTY of ROCKIN' in the third degree

King Crimson assaults crowd with musical genius

By JOHN MARK EBERHART
The Kansas City Star
Published: Wednesday, Nov 28, 2001

King Crimson
·  Reviewed: Nov. 27 at the Madrid Theatre
·  Audience: 700

The accused: The members of King Crimson -- Adrian Belew, Robert Fripp, Trey 
Gunn, Pat Mastelotto.

The accusation: That between the hours of 9:25 and 10:55 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 
27, 2001, the aforementioned individuals did CONSPIRE together to wield 
extreme rock 'n' roll virtuosity in an ecstatic ASSAULT upon the auditory 
pleasure centers of some 700 persons.

Place of offense: Madrid Theatre, KANSAS CITY, MO.

WEAPONS used in assault: Belew -- guitar, keyboard and vocal; Fripp -- 
guitar; Gunn -- "touch" bass guitar; Mastelotto -- drums and percussion.

The evidence: That this quartet did KNOWINGLY and WILLFULLY bedazzle, amaze, 
delight and entertain an audience with technical skills that at times seemed 
almost INHUMANLY proficient, while delivering a performance also driven by 
all-too-human emotions of rage, passion, excitement and EXTREME CONFIDENCE. 
Songs played in said performance included "Into the Frying Pan," "Elephant 
Talk," "The Deception of the Thrush," "Level 5," "Red" and, most grievously, 
"The ConstruKction of Light," with the common word "construction" being 
DELIBERATELY and GRATUITOUSLY misspelled.

Perpetrators aided and abetted by: Opening act John Paul Jones, formerly 
employed as bass guitarist with the rock band Led Zeppelin (currently 
inactive), who committed his own brand of MAYHEM with "The Smile of Your 
Shadow," "Black Dog," "When the Levee Breaks" and other MUSICAL 
COMPOSITIONS.

The verdict: Messrs. Belew, Fripp, Gunn and Mastelotto are hereby found 
GUILTY of the aforementioned action by a jury of several hundred fans and 
one critic.

The punishment: The members of King Crimson are commanded to RETURN to 
Kansas City to deliver an ENCORE performance of their music for the 
citizenry.

MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES and resultant LENIENCY granted: Some rhythmic 
JITTERS detected as 90-minute performance neared its end, especially on 
aforementioned song "Red." This IMPERFECTION thereby confers MERE MORTAL 
status on Messrs. Belew, Fripp, Gunn and Mastelotto, and they are released 
for now upon their own RECOGNIZANCE, to REST and RECUPERATE following 
conclusion of current tour, but return to KC as soon as their schedules 
PERMIT.

Done this TWENTY-NINTH day of NOVEMBER, the year TWO THOUSAND ONE. 
Aforementioned members of King Crimson are hereby released to perform next 
concert on tour, scheduled for tonight in COLUMBUS, OHIO. Citizens of 
Columbus are WARNED forthwith: These men remain ARMED with STRINGED and 
PERCUSSIVE instruments, and are considered EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
To reach John Mark Eberhart: Telephone in CHAMBERS: (816) 234-4772. Via 
unsecured electronic COMMUNIQUES: jeberhart@xxxxxxxxxxx