Wanking for Beginners

[Ed Zeppelin <zeppelined@xxxxxxxxx>]

 Wanking For Beginners
          or
 How To Stroke Like Billy Squier and Still Keep It Coverdaled

 
 Step 1 - Attend Zepfest
 This year's fest was, well...a mixed bag. If I'd gone out of my way
and driven or flown long distance for this thing, I'd have been pissed.
As it was Natalia and I drove up for the day and spent the better part
of the afternoon wandering the streets of Toronto with our cool buddie
Rich (heh, Buddie Rich, get it?) and watching the Sabres/Leafs game in
a faux-western motif pub on Queen street. I think we spent all of ten
minutes at the Phoenix. That first table nearest the door had a lot of
really cool classic rock glossies, but way overpriced. I did make my
yearly bootleg purchase, in this case the very nice Live From the
Midnight Sun - Toronto '71 (TDOLZ). 

Step 2 - Bring Friends
 After it became apparent that the Sabres were going to wreck the
Leafs, we left the pub and found the Crowne Plaza. Why are Zepfests
held in such swanky hotels? Well, anyways, we could hear the sounds of
For Your Life coming through the hotel ventilation systems, so we
followed the guitars down to the jam. It was nice to see that the jam
had a real PA system and a sound man, and security (?!), but it was
even better to see some of our old friends from fests past. Not as many
as we would have wished for, but Jer, Jess, Pouya, Chris, Paul, Eric,
and anyone else I somehow forgot, good to see you again! And better
yet, we met some cool new folks, some on, some off the list, I think
(Nathan! Both Mikes, who played awesome bass and guitar, respectively.
The totally weird piano guy. Ryan, the last minute bassist. Marcella,
whom I didn't get a chance to speak to, but she totally rocked the
house singing Rock and Roll, Percy poses and all, and then strapped on
the six string for D'Yer Mak'er. Wow!). 

Step 3 - Learn To Play Well With or Without Others
 The jam was fun, and predictably, a little rough around the edges. And
sometimes rough right in the middle. :-) Mr. Mixer was all soul as
usual. Eric B. was rock solid behind his monster Ludwig kit, and backed
a really stunning IMTOD. He was kind enough to let me have the throne
for a run through the Lemon Song. Despite the fact that I hadn't really
played drums in about 2 years, and was completely overwhelmed by the
size of the kit (plus the weight of Eric's tree-trunk drum sticks,
which were in danger of slipping from my nervous, sweaty palms the
whole time), and despite the fact that I'd just met Mike R and Ryan the
bass player moments before, I think we pulled that one off pretty well.
Mike was smokin' on guitar, and Ryan somehow managed to lay down an
excellent groove with no rehearsal at all. And Jer, with allllll that
energy, rockin' the microphone in good old lemon squeezing fashion.

Step 4 - Add Ingredients To Taste
 The last song we stayed for was Stairway. Initially it was just this
cool looking guy on guitar - no clue who he was. He had it all together
though, Jimmy poses and all. At some point Jeremy showed up on stage to
handle vox, and then Eric joined in on drums at the appropriate moment.
Ryan appeared suddenly on bass, and it was going full-out by the time
they hit the solo. This gradual addition of musicians made me think of
Jimmy's ARMS Stairway performances. This cat on guitar played one
insane solo, very intense. After that it was time to wind on down the
QEW back to Buffalo (future home of the Coup de Stanley). 
 A few odd notes about the fest - the Jason Bonham Band was playing a
suburb of Buffalo the same night as the fest. Also, tapers and traders
take notice - one pawn shop we found downtown was selling a pair of
Nakamichi Dragons for $2200 each, Canadian, which is like $4.27
American. 
 Thus ends our tale of debauchery, Can-Am style. I will end with a few
words of wisdom...

 This just in - if it looks like a McCue, smells like a McCue, and
talks like a McCue, it's probably a McCue. Do you really think the
Associated Press knows that Robert's nickname is Percy?

 You can fool some of the people all of the time,
 Ed Zeppelin