This just in...

[Percy <percy88@xxxxxxxxx>]

Page/Plant to Headline Concert to Benefit Kashmir
Peace Relief

Dinosaur Rock Duo to Be Joined by International Music
Star Najma Ahktar, London-based Transglobal
Underground and Nusrat Jamal Fateh Ali Khan (son of
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan)

Associated Press, Delhi, India - Management for the
legendary duo of Jimmy Page and Robert Plant announced
today that the infamous partners in rock crime will
reunite to play a benefit concert on the grounds of
the Taj Mahal. Proceeds from ticket sales and
pay-per-view profits will be used to finance efforts
to lobby the Indian and Pakistani government to desist
in their military actions against each other over the
Kashmir territory between the two countries.

Most heavy metal fans will recognize "Kashmir" as one
of Page/Plant's most memorable compositions. The irony
is that neither Plant nor Page has ever actually been
to Kashmir - cited in the song as a utopian respite
from the cruelties of the material world.

"Kashmir has always been more of a dream than reality
to me," said Robert "Percy" Plant. "I've only actually
seen it with my mind's eye."

That said, the cocky leonine wailer is determined to
bring an end to the current conflict over his dream
landscape. His songwriting partner Page shares that
determination.

"Look, I've never been to Kashmir either, but it's on
my list," said Page, flicking an imaginary speck of
dust off the shoulder epaulets of his black silk coat.
"Robert and I are keen to make an impact on life
outside of the rock world while using the power of our
music to make those transformations. I'm dead chuffed
to be a part of it, actually."

The duo were cleverly coy when the name John Paul
Jones was mentioned at today's press conference. Look
for one of rock's biggest groups to reunite in some
form at the show.