... me?

[S7600436@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Hello,

I was going to write you right now when I saw the message...It is my 
grandmother's birthday and I have a test tomorrow so I may not have time 
later and communicating with you is very important to me.  I cannot find 
the blue thing.  I will continue to look but I cleaned my room and went 
through ALL my books to sort things out and I could did not see anything 
like that.

One thing, you ended the message by saying "...me".  Julie, you do not 
have to hide your feelings.  You always used to end the message with 
"love me" and you still can.  I need to know that you are hurting and 
you still love me.  I know that sounds bad but considering how I feel, I 
do not want to go on loving you when you do not love me.  I did that 
before and it hurt for so long.

My world does not make sense anymore...I do not know what I did wrong 
and how we, two people who appeared so totally in love with eachother, 
got to this point.

We cannot allow this last month to destroy our relationship...we can get 
through this.  No one can convince me that you were not totally happy in 
love with me from April of last year to February '98.  You cannot fake 
that kind of happiness.  Everytime I saw you I saw a beautiful, smiling, 
happy woman who could not get enough of being around me.  And I cannot 
help but be around you.  The thought of never holding you again makes me
sick to my stomach.  Please, do not let Monique or anyone else influence 
you...only you and I know what we had and how we can get it back... I 
love you...and I know you love me...you are just under too much pressure 
and I was not a positive influence in your life over the past month.  I 
can be...I want to be...that is why I went to so much trouble to be at 
your presentation but you did not make me feel wanted...

I love you...I would say good luck for your presentations but luck has
nothing to do with it.  You did well and I had no doubt you would do 
well under any circumstances...

Please...write me sometime...I do not want our communication to be 
one-sided...I need to know that at least you are still on my side.

dn (my next letter will not have anything like this; I just needed to
say this)

PS:  anytime you want to come over because you need me...I need you too.

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 "...don't you worry, this is still classic rock.  Wait, it can't be, I 
	      just found my dry-cleaning tag in my shirt"
				       - Robert Plant (Chicago 10/13/95)
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