Pagercise!!!!!

[Tabitha Williams <tabbiew@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

(The following is the result of a college student's suddenly having a
week free of school, but not 12 hours a day of Calculus homework.)

TSRTS should be labelled what it is: The Jimmy Page Workout. Maybe it's
just me, but it seems like with all the kicking and dancing around (and
I use the word dance in its broadest possible definition), it seems as
though he's either exercising, or auditioning for the Bolshoi or
something. So I've been getting mental images of Jimmy actually hosting
an exercise video series and one of the infomercials would go something
like this (this is what improper integrals and L'Hospital's Rule
problems does to one)...

*Jimmy Page in a sweatshirt with Mr. Ed on the front and black
sweatpants with stars and the planet Saturn on his buttock. He's arguing
with some suited guy over who's responsible for the cstering bill. He
notices the camera is on, and smiles at it, shoving the suit out of the
way.*
"Hi, I'm Jimmy Page, and I am the host of Sweat Zeppelin: The Jimmy Page
Workout series. You just do everything in these tapes, and you'll end up
in the same fabulous *pats paunch* shape as I. Here are some highlights 
from Volume Eight." *highlights from TSRTS* 
*Comeback: Jimmy eating a large italian with everything on it, still
arguing over the catering bill. Notices camera.*
"Hello again *wiping face with Porky Pig handkerchief*. So order my
series of videos, will you? This is costing me money. The shorter the
commercial, the better. So, buy my tapes. And remember that the proceeds
from the sale of this series goes to a worthy cause: The 1998 Page/Plant
Tour."

*Voiceover*

Sweat Zeppelin: the Jimmy Page Workout Series. Every Jimmy Page fan will
want to own these tapes....
Volume One: Warmup: How Many More Times You Have to Do This Every Week
Volume Two: Whole Lotta Abs
Volume Three: Chinups on the Gallows Pole
Volume Four: Stairmaster to Heaven
Volume Five: Motion by the Ocean (with special guest ESPN's 
             "Fitness Beach" host Denise Paglia)
Volume Six: Hiking in Kashmir
Volume Seven: Nobody's Pecs But Mine: A Great Chest Without the Implants
Volume Eight: Dance With Your Les Paul for Fitness
Volume Nine: Carouselambra, or Spinning For Health
Volume Ten: Cooldown: After the Wearin' and Tearin'

Each set costs 1998.98 and comes packged in old copies of the National
Enquirer.

Send payment to:

Sweat Zeppelin
Third Kiosk from the Left, King's Road
London 
UK

Cash and American Express only.

CODs are accepted.


*ROFLMAO*
Tabitha