Why MTV Sucks (By Request)

[fireclown@xxxxxxxxx]

i have been asked to do a special edition rant on why MTV sucks, so here
goes (this one's for you, Corinna)-------

what "MTV" stands for:
Mostly
Tacky
Videos
1)  where the hell is the Page/plant show???
2)  for a "music" station, they seem to spend more time at the beach
than Baywatch, with considerably more bimbos and himbos 
3)  where's the music?  according to my count, there are 10 hours each
day devoted to everything BUT music (not counting the time spent on
commercials), with most of the music (7 hours straight) occurring after
midnight
4)  "interactive" videos?  how stupid is it to have people on-line and
chatting during videos at the bottom of the tv screen
5) only one hour of music news per day (except for the news-in-a-minute
thing at the top of the hour).  Kurt Loder's  the only good thing about
MTV, and he's becoming as extinct as decent music
6)  are they EVER going to show Page & Plant?
7)  does anyone really watch Loveline????
and what exactly IS the point, anyway?
8)  why are sports figures featured on a tv show called FANatic on a
MUSIC network?  isn't that what ESPN is for?
9)  why is it that all the best "oldies" are on VH-! (Video HITS-1), and
all the one-hit wonders are MTV?
10) why is it that MTV's website doesn't even know what's happening on
MTV?
11)  speaking of websites, why does their website suck so much?  it's
virtually impossible to find anything in their news archives (as an
example, in order to find info on P & P, you have to look under Puff
Daddy), and the pages "slide" all over the screen---talk about
eye-strain!!!
12)  where the hell is the Page/Plant show???? 
13) video may have killed the radio stars---but MTV is murdering music
(would Mariah Carey big such a huge "diva"---MTV's word, not mine---
without constant play by MTV?  i think not)
14)  where's Don Kirschner when you need him?
15)  what's up with beach volleyball as a competition sport in the
Goodwill Games, anyway??? (sorry, just had to throw that in)
16) BTW,  WHERE are Page & Plant??????
                         the fireclown

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Visit my totally NZC (yep, I have a life off the list,too) website at
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"Well, I suppose I could do a solo album, but my god, it would be
terrible!"
                                  Robert Plant, 1974
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