Who the hell is Tom Davis?!

["Larry Burnett" <lburnett@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Found this little bit of comedy on Rob Godwin's Illutsrated Guide 
CDRom. Anyone know where it came from?
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LED ZEPPELIN GIVE REALLY POOR CONCERT

	Led Zeppelin played to a sell-out crowd at the Pittsburg Civic Arena 
last Monday evening, March 30th
	The entire with-it, hip, freaked-out, pseudo hippie high school 
population of Pittsburgh was there, sitting around the lobby of the 
arena like crows on a telephone wire. I never will understand why 
people like to sit around like that, unless it's to say "Ha, look at 
me, how hip I am."
	Anyway, the concert was a half hour late in starting, alledgedly 
because the concert was a sell-out, but everyone wasn't in their 
seats, how could they be, they were al sitting around outside looking 
hip!
	But when the concert did start, it started badly.Jimmy Page and 
Robert Plant were on stage wiggling their hips and acting like 
complete jackasses. The only thing coming out of the amplifiers was 
alot of grouch and fuzz and feedback, and the music was really 
poor. It went on like this for about twenty minutes and I was sitting 
there thinking how many Jeff Beck records I could buy for five 
dollars.
	The everybody got off stage and Plant introduced Jimmy Page as "the 
White Thummah" and he sat down and really played the hell out of 
Black Mountain Side. It was really fine.
	After that, the group came back and played some more. Then they 
started playing Moby Dick, which has to have one of the world's worst 
drum solos as it's feature. But the drummer, John Bonham did a really 
excellent solo for about fifteen minutes, with and without 
drumsticks. I couldn't help but wonder how sore the guy's hands must 
be, because he's been on tour for almost a month playing without 
drumsticks. Then everybody else came back on and they started playing 
songs from Led Zeppelin III and it was really nice. It turns out 
Jimmy Page can really play the guitar, when he stands still. But when 
he starts acting like an asshole, the only sounds he makes are guach, 
fuzz and feedback.
	The PLayed Whole Lotta Love and about halfway through the song 
people started getting up from their seats and moving towards the 
stage. Of course our fine Pittsburgh Police Department started moving 
everyone back towards their seats, starting with the head. Robert 
Plant just stopped singing and said "we're not gonaa play with that 
going on" and the whole group just walked off. They came back on 
however, and appealed for order and asked the police "if you want him 
to sit down, the why the HELL are you hittin' on 'im?" They finished 
Whole Lotta Love, complete with guitar freak-out, and they played 
Heartbreaker.
	This was their last song and they said goodnight and everything, but 
there was more trouble on the floor, so they came back and appealed 
for peace, and gave two extra songs as pacifiers. There were screams 
for more so they did another song. Then a bra came sailing up on 
stage and they did another song.
	By this time the police were lined up in front of the stage but they 
were out of sight behind a wal of tenny-bobbing flesh. Robert Plant 
didn't help matters by leaping into the crowd and back on stage at 
one point. Another bra came shooting out of the crowd. I can see some 
little chick explaining to her mother how she lost her bra.
	They finally did another song and I swear I saw a policeman standing 
on stage with his aht on sideways clapping his hands. When they 
finally did leave, one of the promoters came out and announced that 
there is going to be a two day rock festival in Pittsburgh this 
summer with such noted artists as Grace Slick and The Airplane, Jimi 
Hendrix, and Chicago. I think that if this guy hadn't made this
announcement there might have been real trouble. As it was everyone's 
attention was taken away from the group. 
	I can't really say that I enjoyed the concert. Maybe it's because I 
expected too much. When I went into the building, I just had the name 
Jimmy Page stuck in my mind. It seemed so ureal. Every picture I've 
seen of him he seemed so cool and collected that I wasn't ready for a 
Jimi Hendrix replica.I can't say the music was that good either. It 
was good old Rock & Roll, but it was pretty strung out, and not too 
intense.
	At least if the subject comes up, I can say "Yeah, I saw Led 
Zeppelin and they weren't so hot", and sound sophisticated.
						
							Sincerely,
							Tom Davis

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Damn funny stuff, I say.....'specially the part about the bras flying 
on stage:-)

Bless your socks,
Larry
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