countdown...

["J.R. Sroufe" <gonzo@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

TIME: September 26, 1980

PLACE: 'Rock-N-Roll Heaven'

APPEARING, IN PERSON: JOHN HENRY BONHAM!!!
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<Bonzo, groggy from a good boozer> Whew! That was a 'ell of a night! 
Hey.....where the 'ell am I anyway?? Where's the guys???

<Bonzo looks around at the white light and standard "heaven-stuff" 
laying around...you know...lots of clouds and stuff...>

<Bonzo> Must be the ham-rolls....I'm still asleep....I'll wake up in 
a minute....

<St. Peter, with lots of reverb> Nope Bonzo my boy, you're dead....

<Bonham> What????!!!! Naw, get outta here! I'm right here mate!

<St. Peter> That's right, you _are_ here. In heaven, man!

<Bonham now sees St. Peter, who looks strangely like Peter Grant, but 
somehow....different....>

<Bonzo> Awwwwww shit.....you mean.....?

<St. Peter> Yep, you're outt'a there, man, history, archives...you're 
a hologram, man...not even there, you know?...ppffffffft boom!

<Bonzo> Damn.....there goes the tour......shit...

<Bonzo> So what's there to do in Heaven? You know, like....where's 
the bar???? Heh, heh...

<St. Peter> Oh, you're gonna love it up here! Monday's our drinking 
night! We have Heineken and fine scotch brought in, it's great! No 
hangovers too! This is Heaven!

<Bonzo> Really????!!!! You guys drink up here????? I figured I'd be 
never seein' another beer again, right?

<St. Peter> Oh yeah! Do you like to gamble, Bonzo?

<Bonzo> Your bloody right I do! Used to bet the Queen's 'orses all 
the time I did!

<St. Peter> Oh, well you'll _love_ tuesdays! We all get together and 
have "Monte Carlo Night" and bring in crap tables, blackjack...and 
unlimited chips! This is Heaven!

<Bonham> Oh yeah!!!!! This is _super!_ I didn't know Heaven was such 
a cool place! What do you guys do on Wednesday?

<St. Peter> You a smoker, John?

<Bonzo> 'Ell yeah! I love me cigars! I used to wheeze one during the 
acoustic set in '77!

<St. Peter> Oh well, Wednesday's "Smoke-Out" night! We have only the 
_finest_ Cubans, and you can smoke all you want! You're already dead!

<Bonzo> This is too much! I love this! I'd have done this _years_ ago 
if I knew it was like this!!!!

<St. Peter> Are you gay, John?

<Bonzo> ......Uuuuh,....No, man.....I.....uh...Man,I just don't 
_play_ that!!!!!

<St. Peter> Oh....well......You're gonna _REALLY_ hate 
*Thursdays*!!!!!!

<Bonzo> <gulp>......oh shit.....

***ONLY *4* MORE DANCIN' DAYS TILL THE US/CANADA RELEASE OF 
LED ZEPPELIN'S 'THE BBC SESSIONS'
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Brought to you (mischieviously), by the (un)official 'BBC Release' 
phone-booth (more down-sizing)