Hats Off and assorted ramblings...

[rhf@xxxxxxxxxx]

Prepare for a waste of bandwidth...
> > the stuff that Jim-Bob's Country Jug
> > Band might have written during a session that featured bad
> > moonshine, cheap guitars, and sexy Bobby Sue in all her buck-toothed
> > glory relaxing on the couch.

> HEY! That's no way to talk about my sister!!!!!
***
> > 5. Countdowns! The lighter side of being a ZepHead, JR keeps us 
> > laughin'

> Probably unintentionally most of the time but the countdowns are funny!
> Keep it up JR! :-D

> I need a SOTD and a countdown, pretty damn quick ;)
***
Ladies and Gentlemen, Sunshine Women and ZepHeads alike, we all love
J.R.'s countdowns (J.R... I LOVE YOU, MAN! :)), but we all seem to hate
Hats Off To (Roy) Harper. So,
I've took a little time and a tiny bit of effort to come up with
something that is a little odd... well, have a gander at the title.

Hats Off To (J.R.) Sroufe

How many of you would of rather seen this as the closing to Zep's 3rd
album instead of The Harper Song? (come on now, raise your hands...)
Well, here it is. 
***********
Hats Off To (J.R.) Sroufe

When I done quit laughin' baby, I believe I'll print out the countdown.

Get my digest, won't be late, you know by late I mean passed out on the
floor drunk late.

Ah, must I frown, must I shut the computer down?

Well I've been laughin', babe, but who's gonna shake 'im on down?

Well, I ain't no comedian, I can't tell no jokes,

but that J.R. made a comedian outa me!

Now I'm laughin', seein' what he made outa me!

Well I'm still laughin' but who's gonna shake me on down?

Listen to me! Please don't hit delete! 

Put in your two cents to this crappy rewrite now!

Must I holler? Must I miss the next countdown?

Never saw J.R., probably never will

But if I see him, 'sure it'll be at Zep-Zep-Zep-ZepFest (spoken: if
there is one!)

Yeah, never saw J.R., he still makes me laugh

If his countdowns don't get ya, you got a real problem!

Gonna go e-mail J.R. now...
**********
Har har har...

 Next up...

Billy Bob Joe Jim Bob McCue wrote:
 
> 3. If I had my druthers, the new album would be a mixed bag, ala LZ > IV, 
> with some fast stuff, some slow stuff, some hard rock, some acoustic > stuff, 
> some funk, some blues, some eastern-influenced rock. If that turns out > to 
> be the case, I'll be happier than JR turned loose in a Budweiser > brewery 
> with a 20 oz cup and a delicately inserted urethral catheter that > leads 
> into a 200 oz colostomy bag.

Strange... I can actually agree with Bill on this one.

> But having said that, I 
> think I'd change my stripes in a New York minute if someone who looked > like 
> Lori Maddox (or Theolyn) was throwing herself at me for being such a > groovy 
> guy. I'd also delicately eat French Fries, dab them in ketchup with my 
> pinky out and make interviewers direct their questions to my publicist > who 
> would then in turn relay my replies to said hack. God, would I be ever > so 
> precious.

Hmmm... well then... oh BTW, Bill looks like Gary Sinese.

> 10. You're all worthless and weak. Now drop and give me twenty!

YES SIR MAM SIR!

Next up, our argued Top 10.

Bill "Hey, they think I'm Jimmy Page!" O'Neil wrote:

> 10. Thank You -- 
<snip>

Agreed.

> 9.  The Crunge --
<snip>

Well, not ALWAYS skipped... only when I'm In The Mood (BTW the video for
In The Mood sucked. I wonder how the rest of Rob's band ever lived it
down...)

> 8.  I'm Gonna Crawl --

NAY, BROTHER BILL. NAY! I'm Gonna Crawl is one of my faves off of ITTOD,
mainly because of this line...
"I ain't gonna go by plane,
 I ain't gonna go by car,
 I don't care just where my darling is,
 and I don't care how far...
 I'm gonna crawl..."
I guess I've done alot of crawling in my life.

> 7.  Boogie With Stu --
Another NAY BROTHER BILL. I love this song, and once some guy tried to
teach 
me to dance to it... alot of hip movement in there!

> 6.  South Bound Suarez --
Nope. Love this one too. Its just one to bounce around the room to.


> 5.  Hats Off to Roy Harper --
See my list below.

> 1.  Hot Dog --
I confess that I liked this at first, but now it gets the >>> every
time!

next up, Rob O'Reilly's Top 10 Worst Zep Songs.

> 10.  "Tangerine" -
EEEEEEEEHHHHH! WRONG! This is another of those songs that has special 
meaning in life... just like Poor Tom! More on that below...

> 9.  "Bonzo's Montreaux" - 
EEEEEEEEHHHHH! No way in hell this makes the Worst Zep Songs List, imo
anyways.

> 8.  "Baby Come on Home" -
Alright, I don't own this song, I've only ever heard clips care of a web
site 
and Mixer. And I've really been cravin' this one lately... the sound
clips I
downloaded got all messed up! dammit!

> 6.  "Thank You" -
Yup. Yup. And Yup.

> 5.  "Night Flight" -
I didn't like it at first, but now I love it. Just something about how
the 
lyrics and my life go together smacks me right upside the head.

> 3.  "Darlene" - this song has all the charm and appeal of an abscess. 
I wonder if Robert/Jimmy wrote this when one/both of them had an
abcess...

> 2.  "Poor Tom" -
I love Poor Tom. I think my ultimate Zep tingle moment was the third
time I
listened to Poor Tom. When Plant first comes in (ya know... "Here's a
tale of
Tom, who worked the rivers run."), it sent a chill down my spine and
made me 
think the room was closing in on me. Call me a psycho... but then again
my
life was messed up at that time, so that probably explains it. 

> 1.  "D'yer Maker" -
Only when I'm In The Mood for it (there's that damn song again!).

Ladies, Gentlemen, Sunshine Women, and Zosoians... I present my Top 10
Worst Zep Songs To Ever Hit The Market.

Number 10 - Thank You: I see that this one has hit many people's lists
for
the Number 10 slot. I guess, after the first 5-10 listens, it gets just 
plain annoying!

Number 9 - For Your Life: Now, if ya had to write a song about cocaine 
addiction (or whatever the addiction was.. correct me if I'm wrong) you 
might of wanted to write a better song than this... something that
people
would be willing to listen to so they could get a warning out of it, not
something that people would listen to while snorting cocaine.

Number 8 - In My Time Of Dying: Alright, I'm gonna get the f*** flamed
outa 
me for this one. But, me and In My Time Of Dying could never get along.
With
exception to the line "Forgive me Lord for all the wrong I've done. You
can
forgive me Lord... I only wanted to have some fun!"

Number 7 - Candy Store Rock: Another one I just can't get along with.
Not 
exactly sure what this is about... mabye Rob was out whoring and spotted
a
nice one.

Number 6 - The Wanton Song: Another to get flamed for! This is one of
those 
that I can listen to without pain, but after listening to it again and
again
I've grown tired of it.

Number 5 - Ozone Baby: I don't like the... oh, what's the word...
dehydrated
sound Plant is emmiting from his throat (oh, that's singing? News to me.
:))
Something funky with that gui-tah too.

Number 4 - Hot Dog: Whooooooo Boy! Gettin' up them there hoe down 'n we
gonna
play them there gui-tarrrrrrs 'n try to sing like some old hick outa 
Northren Susquehanna County in Peeeeensylvania!
Good Lord, this one was written as a joke, as mentioned. At least I
hope.

Number 3 - White Summer: I'm sorry to the guitarists, but I do not play 
guitar, and cannot understand the sheer power, strength, skills, and 
ability to listen it takes to play and/or enjoy this track. Every once
in
a while, yes, but not on a regular basis.

Number 2 - Darlene: If I was Darlene, I'd... well, I don't know what I'd
do.
I'd figure it out after the release of the song. But, I wonder... just
how 
old is this Darlene girl? Knowing Percy, she's 16. I wonder if her
parents 
know Robert Plant is bangin' her! (hehe.. just kidding. :))

And finally... the moment you've all been waiting for... 

Number 1 - Hats Off To (Roy) Harper:I heard something similar to it once 
when I recorded a chicken bone being put through a garbage disposal, a
piece
of sheet metal being cut with a table saw, and my old tape player eating
a 
tape and edited them all together.
Scary, huh? 

Ok, before I go, I have some final announcements.

First up, What do you think the most underrated Zep track is?

And finally, if you could rearrange any Track order of any Zep album,
which
album would it be and what would the order be?
I think I would rearrange Led Zeppelin III, and this would be the order:

Immigrant Song
That's The Way 
Since I've Been Loving You
Tangerine
Gallows Pole
Celebration Day
Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp
Out On The Tiles
Friends

(begining of _pink mode)
Try listening to it this way and lemme know what you think...
(end of _pink mode)

Alright, thanks for listening to my assorted ramblings, and I'll talk to
you
all soon...

ever onward,
Jess

Oh, BTW, whoever was calling Your Time Is Gonna Come a country
singalong,
imo you are wrong. YTIGC is definitely one of my favorites.
- -- 
Please respond to: thegallowspole@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
****
Do what thou wilt. So mete it Be.
				- A. Crowley
****
"Hey, isn't Crowley that milk company?"
			-A proud representative of a 
                        breed I like to call an Orsoner.