countdown...

["J.R. Sroufe" <gonzo@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

MORE HEADLINES FROM AROOOOOUUUUND THE WORLD!!!!

<insert "spinning newspaper" stock footage here>

"AMERICA LOSES 'MOST FAVORED NATION' STATUS WITH LED ZEPPELIN! 'BBC 
SESSIONS' TO BE RELEASED IN THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES NEXT!!!"
- ------Kiplinger Washington Newsletter

"LED *WHO*, MON????"
- -----Dominican Republic Newspaper

SADAAM HUSSEIN SOFTENS! U.N. OFFICIALS BRING 'BBC SESSIONS' DISCS TO 
IRAQ!!! HUSSEIN QUOTED, "ONE MORE DAY AND I'D HAVE GASSED THE WHOLE 
LOT OF YOU!!!"
- -----New York Times

"ERIC SACHS TIPS OFF McCUE!!!!! SECOND ATTACK ON TOKYO IMMINENT!!! 
McCUE QUOTED AS SAYING, "DAMMIT! I TOLD YOU, IF I HEARD THAT YOU 
CHOAD-CHOKERS WERE GETTING THAT RELEASE FIRST, I'D KICK A MUD-HOLE IN 
YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES AND STOMP IT DRY!!!! PREPARE YOURSELVES!!!!"
- -----Tokyo Times

"JIMMY PAGE SPENDS SOME MONEY!!!!!!!"
- -----'Forbes' magazine

"ROBERT PLANT: 'SEXIEST MAN ALIVE'!!!!"
- -----'Geriatric Journal'

"SHIRLEY MACLAINE CHANNELS JOHN BONHAM!!! STATES, "I'LL TAKE YA FROM 
THE REAR!!!!!!!"
- -----'Psychic Weekly' magazine

"JOHN PAUL JONES TO JUDGE ANNUAL 'CANNABIS CUP' AWARDS!!!!"
- -----'High Times' magazine

"SCOTT SWANSON TO SUBSTITUTE FOR JOHN PAUL JONES IN 'AOL CHAT', 
JONES STATES, "HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT ZEPPELIN THAN ME ANYWAY"
- -----'Computer Life' magazine

"LED ZEPPELIN'S 'BBC SESSIONS' RELEASED IN ANTARTICA!!! SOUTH POLE 
THUMBS NOSE AT THE UNITED STATES!!!!"
- ------'Penguin Gazette'

"LED ZEPPELIN'S 'BBC SESSIONS' ALREADY PIRATED!!!! PAGE QUOTED AS 
SAYING, "I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE RELEASED EVERYWHERE AT ONCE! DAMMIT!" 
- ------'Goldmine' magazine

"JIMMY PAGE RETURNS PRODUCT FOR REFUND, BLAMES RECORD PIRACY!!!!"
- ------'Forbes' magazine, in a clarification

"J.R. SROUFE DROWNS IN VAT OF BEER!!!! WITNESSES 
STATE, "HE GOT OUT 3 TIMES TO PISS...."
- ------'Brewer's Digest'

"LUCIANO PAVOROTTI TO PLAY PETER GRANT IN BIO-PIC!"
- ------'Variety'

"JIMMY PAGE SHARES RECIPE SECRETS FOR LEFTOVERS!"
- ------'Ladies Home Journal'

"WOLVERHAMPTON SOCCER TEAM CANCELS NEXT THREE GAMES! COACH BLAMES 
RELEASE OF LED ZEPPELIN'S 'BBC SESSIONS'!!!!!"
- ------'Sports Illustrated'

**** ONLY *7* MORE DANCIN' DAYS TIL THE AMERICAN RELEASE OF THE 'BBC 
SESSIONS' DISCS!!!!!**************
- ------'For Badgeholders Only' mailing list
___________________________________________________________________
Brought to you by, the (un)official 'BBC Sessions' *AMERICAN* 
countdown headquarters



___________________________
Gimme a bottle of anything!
And a glazed donut!
To GO!!!!
- ---David Lee Roth
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