For Buttpluggers Only

[danderso@xxxxxxxxxxx (David Anderson)]

I'm forwarding this on behalf of Dr. William X. McCue, late of this list. Please
direct all correspondence to the list or the good Doctor directly.  Read on...

- --Dave 

1. I think the overwhelming majority of you are a bunch of dungheads who 
don't know what the freak you're talking about and wouldn't know a Led 
Zeppelin song if it played on a continuous loop tape all day and night with 
Brian Matthews chiming in between songs "That was Led Zeppelin, in 
concert." Hello Jean! Once again I'll conjure up the immortal words of Pete 
Townshend "All you want is a bloody t-shirt!!!" Seriously folks, does it 
have anything to do with the music? I mean your participation on this list. 
And to think I thought that a "new" list (and I use the word "new" loosely) 
would trigger the beginning of content over chit-chat. Silly me. Plus c'est 
change, plus c'est le meme chose...or something. Hello?

2. I agree with Corporal Rob O'Reilly. If it sounds like Presence, count me 
in. If it's two old farts wailing away on cock rock, well, I don't think 
that will be very becoming of two gents in their 50s. I'd like to see Pee 
and Poop acting their age and growing old with grace and dignity. Flailing 
away doesn't fit that Bill. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Snort!

3. If I had my druthers, the new album would be a mixed bag, ala LZ IV, 
with some fast stuff, some slow stuff, some hard rock, some acoustic stuff, 
some funk, some blues, some eastern-influenced rock. If that turns out to 
be the case, I'll be happier than JR turned loose in a Budweiser brewery 
with a 20 oz cup and a delicately inserted urethral catheter that leads 
into a 200 oz colostomy bag.

4. As much as I'm tempted to load my own cyber-mortar and lob electronic 
bombs at Jean for her, ahem, interesting commentary on the 70s, for once in 
my life I'll show a little restraint. Believe it or not, I'm a bit of 
puritan when it comes to casual coital matters. But having said that, I 
think I'd change my stripes in a New York minute if someone who looked like 
Lori Maddox (or Theolyn) was throwing herself at me for being such a groovy 
guy. I'd also delicately eat French Fries, dab them in ketchup with my 
pinky out and make interviewers direct their questions to my publicist who 
would then in turn relay my replies to said hack. God, would I be ever so 
precious.

5. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure that No Quarter is my 
favorite Led Zeppelin song. No wait, I mean, Trampled Underfoot. No wait, I 
meant Since I've Been Loving You...

6. My favorite tingle moment, the one that loosens my bowels, makes my anal 
lips quiver and sends my final (reluctant) turd into the bowl with a splash,
 is when Percy emotes "Every little bit of my love....oh...." in "I'm Gonna 
Crawl."

7. Zeppelin's releasing their BBC stuff, eh? Ho-hum....zzzzzzz......You 
mean those tracks I've heard nine gamillion times and have on fourteen 
different tapes and CDs, including one bootleg sourced from Yakuza Yamamoto 
who claims that his version is "almost, but not quite as excellent as, blah,
 blah, blah" ? Riveting news folks. How do you say "easy way out" in 
Japanese? Call me a killjoy. It won't be the first time.

8. I wonder bootlegs of Page and Plant's rehearsals from August 94 haven't 
turned up.

9. The new Radiohead continues to impress. Minus track seven (some freaky 
spoken word thing) and track eight (annoying as hell), it's a killer CD.

10. You're all worthless and weak. Now drop and give me twenty!

Love,
Billy